Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I was told before coming to Princeton that life wouldn't be easy for me. Apart from the work load, there would also be the psychological pressure from being in an elite institution, I was told. Even having this in mind, it was hard to go from being the cream of crop at UCL to being mediocre at best in Princeton.

It seemed as if everyone knew more about everything, and in greater depth than I could. It doesn't help when I sometimes realise that I should actually know what people are talking about because I've studied it before, but just can't remember for the life of me. I'm friendly with the physics grad students here, but I often feel reluctant to socialise too much with them, partly because they often 'shop talk' about things happening specifically within their department, and partly because they spend a lot of time talking about physics. The former would exclude anyone who's not within the physics department, and the latter makes me feel excluded because my knowledge of theoretical physics is very shallow compared to them. In particular, a couple of the physicists irritate me because of their self-assurance (and dare I say arrogance?) when casually talking about stuff I know nothing about. I'm OK when people talk about far-out stuff in a cautious and speculative tone, but when they talk about it as if it's the law and that they know everything, it's very off-putting.

In due course, I had learned to take the attitude that I'm privileged to be in the company of such brilliant people, and that I have much to learn from them. The likes of Richard Feynmann were once in their shoes, and it's likely that more geniuses would emerged from the ranks of the Princeton physics grad students. If I had gone to somewhere less demanding, I would have still been among the better students, but I wouldn't know how far I am from the very best. There's the saying the greatest fool is he who does not know he's a fool, so I guess I am less of a fool here in Princeton.