It's been over a year since I last performed in public in anything vaguely resembling a formal setting, and this was not a thought that was particularly comforting as I put on my bow tie and suit in my room just an hour and a half from the start of the performance. Just to make things more interesting, I was also carrying a finger injury from either over-practice or volleyball (not sure which), which made long stretches somewhat uncomfortable. Still, it wasn't a show-stopper, so I decided not to cancel the performance.

One might think that I would have wanted to get some last-minute practice and warmup for a couple of hours before my concert, but I've since realised that last-minute practice is a no-no, since it only makes me more nervous when I discover which parts I haven't practised sufficiently (which usually turns out to be EVERYTHING). It's a simple philosophy...the less time you have to worry, the less you will worry. And so I didn't actually sit down to warm-up until just 30 minutes before I was to go on stage, although this was partially because I had to run around getting some things sorted out like the arrangement of the things on-stage.

I was to be the first person to play in the concert organised by Neil Pickering under the banner of the British-Malaysian Society. All of us who were going to play are Malaysians, although I'm the only amateur. There was Foo Mei Yi, a RAM Master's student who was to play 8 of the Chopin Preludes on the piano after me; Jane Ng, a violinist doing her Master's at RCM, playing some music by Franck, Wienawski (?) and Prokofiev accompanied by Yuki Negishi (a non-Malaysian, this time); and Bobby Chen, an accomplished concert pianist playing pieces by Debussy, Ravel and Liszt. With such illustrious company, I had every reason to be nervous and overwhelmed.

Even when warming up, I could feel the stage fright creeping in, making my fingers go cold (despite constant visits to the hand-dryer in the restroom) and my heart race. Just before I was to go on-stage, as I waited close to the stage door, I was an absolute wreck. My attempts at calming myself down by playing some easy pieces came to nought as I couldn't even play those properly. As I walked on-stage, I was preparing for total humiliation.

The Master of Ceremonies was a short old English chap, Nigel or Neville (I didn't catch his name, but I have reason to suspect he was once the British High Comissioner to Malaysia). In normal classical concerts, there are no MCs, and even if there were they'd leave the stage the moment the performer comes on. So I was rather surprised when he stayed on-stage when I went on, and he introduced me to the audience. Somehow, that helped me settle my nerves, and while I was still nervous when I sat down to play, at least my fingers have stopped trembling and I could actually FEEL them, which was a good start. ...which didn't prevent me from flubbing the first passage of my performance.

Still, things went reasonably well for the first couple of pieces of my programme. It wasn't perfect, but the mistakes I made were pretty minor and probably unnoticeable for the uninitiated. The final piece of my performance, however, is by far the most difficult. Things were alright for the first 5 minutes or so, then I came to a section which is the most difficult of the lot, a real finger-buster. I actually managed to play it quite well, but as I came on to the final few bars consisting of truly insane block-chords flying about the fingerboard, I felt my injured finger give way, and I mentally went "OOOOOOOOWWW!". And I still had a couple of pages' worth of music to go through, and so I basically limped through the finish line.

After I finished my programme, there were still Mei Yi, Jane and Bobby to go, so I moped about the place, reading the newspapers before deciding to sneak back inside the concert hall to listen to the rest of the concert. After the encores (including a four-hand piece by Mei Yi and Bobby), we went up to stage for a group bow. The girls were handed bouquets and we, the gents, were given a bottle of fine champagne each, as well as an envelope containing (I quote) "A little token of thanks".

At the reception after the concert, I was almost immediately accosted by a Malay lady who turned out to be the assistant director of Tourism Malaysia's branch in London (which incidentally is in Trafalgar Sq). She asked me to play background music at a dinner next Tuesday. She seemed a bit too insistent on it for my taste, BUT ON THE OTHER HAND she asked me to name my fee ;-). I'm not sure if I have to mood or if my injured finger allows it, but it seems tempting.

In general, the comments I got from the audience members were extremely flattering. Lot's of comments on the musicality and sensitivity of my playing, and a lot of them seemed extremely impressed that I was doing this just as a hobby (albeit an extremely passionate one). The most flattering comment that I got was "My daughter plays the classical guitar as well, and I had no idea it could sound so good". The oddest comment was (after hearing that I intend to continue in a scientific career, "Are you going to become an academician?". Blank look from me. "You have a lot of stage presence. You're a small person, but when you're on-stage you are completely gigantic". Uhh...okay.....